Tie my shoes. Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!I love being married.
Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word.
Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages.
These cookies do not store any personal information.Did you know that almost 30 million Facebook users update their status messages at least once a day? If you are looking for brightening up your dull day, then you have landed on the right page. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.I always take life with a grain of salt …plus a slice of lemon …and a shot of tequila.Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.I am on a seafood diet.
Worst transformer ever.My ex-girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. 150+ Hilarious Funny Facebook Status Updates!! “Yep, gravity still works!”If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”.
Search random posts or submit your own. Turn around.Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you?If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer…Do not argue with an idiot. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.Got a problem with me? When this dad had to specify where his daughter was in …
Nope, we won't accept your friend requests. We take a look at the funny side of things.Facebook is intoxicating and updating your status messages gives you a new high. These status messages have made it their responsibility to have you laughing your heart out.
Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go.They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These may be funny or sad.
These funny status messages are too hilarious to make any person laugh out louder in no time. Funny; Insightful; WTF. Go home and love your family.Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.
I’m really good in bed. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil.A cookie a day keeps the sadness away.
Facebook is still a blessing. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait.If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. Funny Status Ideas #17586. Please pray for me.Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. by Hattie Soykan.
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